Wednesday, July 12, 2017

a vacation in the wilderness

                                                                                          Attribution:  Edward Aspera Jr.
Image: When lightning strikes (here)

the 12 given words:
wife bamboo stirring bath leafless hanging 
skin blackbird monk fire dirty painting

musing and lovingly eyeing his wife
hidden behind the bamboo makeshift wall
upper half of her body still very much visible
supple and stirring having a leisurely bath

a vacation in the wilderness among greeneries
a homestay nestled close to nature by the forest
he regretted not having discovered this earlier
she waving inviting him over to bathe together

against a backdrop of a leafless mango tree
with branches hanging menacingly from above
her fair skin gleamed under the morning sun
not unlike a blackbird ready to pounce on a prey

debating if he should come running to the rescue
remembering how not to be caught flat-footed
reminiscent to a monk under fire for slow response
dirty in thoughts, painting a picture of doom

MMT's Sunday's Whiligig #120
Mary's at PU's Poetry Pantry #362


  1. interesting poem here Hank, there a sense of trouble even in this lovely paradise.

  2. A most fascinating use of these words spelling a bit of sensual pleasure with just a twinge of drama bringing to life this bit of adventure in the wilderness.

  3. I like the way you've interspersed the words given through out with an underlying darkness with hints of love.

  4. Just a little can go a long way, never know what is beneath the surface

  5. I think a vacation like this is perfect... Soon we will be out in the greenery

  6. Love this picture:

    "inviting him over to bathe together
    against a backdrop of a leafless mango tree"

    And the ending:

    "slow response
    dirty in thoughts, painting a picture of doom"

  7. Idyllic idling in the woods ... but wait! ... something wicked this way comes ... maybe. An intriguing write!

  8. I love the description of his wife, in the outdoor bath, half-hidden by bamboo.

  9. Outdoor baths are fantastic and you've conjured up this scene nicely!!

  10. The second to last stanza really jumps out and seems as though it could stand alone.

  11. This is the second poem I've read this morning that has a reference to a monk with a dirty mind. What is with monks these days???!!!

    My Whirligig poem